THE AFTERMATH, SCARS & DRAINAGE:
When I first arrived I was very impressed with how good mom looked. She had allot of color and was as vivacious as ever. Her disposition was so temperate of the chaos that consistently surrounds her. She only had positive things to say about everyone and every situation. She kept telling me to hold off my observations until I saw the scars. The first time I saw the double mastectomy scars, stitches and cuts I was not affected in the least. It seemed "normal" in a strange way for some reason and did not worry me, or gross me out. BUT it is far from normal. They cut clear across her body and up the middle. Her skin was smooth and absolutely concave (sorry for the description)--there was nothing left. The good news is all that loss was for some good.When going to the surgeon with mom, the surgeon informed us that she is very meticulous about getting extra skin grafts above and below the actual sight to ensure as they cut/slice and test each tiny piece above and below to ensure that she had indeed gotten out all the cancer. SHE DID! The surgeon said her prognosis was 100% :) . The part that was a little eery to my tummy was the drains. They run on both sides of her body and drain excess fluid and blood from the surgery site. The blood pouches always looked kind of like a pepto bismol solution to me...but then you get use to seeing her cart them around in her pockets. It reminded me so much of when Colton was carting his pee around on his back after one of his kidney surgeries...so it should not have bothered me too badly...but the bloody chunky solution was sometimes too much. She has to drain them at 2 exact times each day and they keep a log on the computer of how much is in them each time. The less the better and means that she will get them out sooner. I went to the plastic surgeon...who is managing that part of her care with her as well-and he felt like keeping the drains in for a bit longer was wise. She has much more fluid the more active she is. She is not allowed to do exercise of any form until they are out. She was nervous about some redness and irritation around one of the drainage sights that had occurred after her 2nd surgery a couple of days before I arrived (to have the port placed directly into her blood line in her chest), But it turned out to be some irritation from the tape and cleaning solution they had used for surgery.
THE DOCTOR VISITS:
The one thing I really appreciated during this visit was meeting some of the doctors whose mom's life is in their hands. I was absolutely impressed with her surgeon. She is a woman doctor who TAKES TONS of TIME with her patients. She got close to mom and answered all her questions (she could tell mom was having a nervous day). She is spunky, lively and certain in her work. She is concerned and really worries about each case. She is the one who would call mom on the weekends and work late hours for her. It could also help that she is a quilter and has a personality too. Mom kept asking what her cancer was staged at...the doctor seemed to want to not classify it necessarily but gladly pulled out the classification sheet- there are MANY MEASUREMENTS and things that goes into the prognosis...but it came back at a stage 3c cancer, the next stage being 4 (the highest rated) according to the American Cancer Society Website--that stage gives you a 49% survival rate for 5 years. Mom made me look that up and at times I regret I did...she is really holding onto that. That is why I think the doctor is hesitant to go about doing it. She only has to see the surgeon now every 6 months. The surgeon told her for the rest of her life all blood draws, blood pressure, etc. has to be done on the left side of her body--the side where the cancer was not as aggressive or in her lymph nodes. The cancer was only detected in the right side lymph-nodes--but it does mean it has entered her blood stream.
The plastic surgeon has a little to be desired in way of bedside manner...he has a dry smile and humor. BUT HE HAS ONE. You can tell he is very educated in his field, and there is no doubt he knows what he is doing. All wounds and dressing care go through him. He pumped the first set of fluids into mom while I was there. People talked about it being painful. so we were leery...but she was fine. So fine in fact, he pumped double the amount he usually does. She fared well despite her narcotics withdrawals :) (more info forthcoming). She is half way the size she is going to be in way of reconstruction--she is not going to be very big--but its not like cosmetic...it is using what you have :) you saw immediate results and was not concave anymore!!! She will be seeing him weekly until she is more healed and pumped full.
The oncologist will oversee her chemo, radiation and all medication. I did not meet him.
THE BAD AND THE UGLY:
By the end of the week mom was 'losing' it on a regular basis. She had anxiety and panic reading, talking or hearing about cancer. It was weird because it seemed to come on so quickly. It was her birthday and she cried through the whole thing hoping it was not her last. She has earned this right to mourn. It is part of the process I am sure...it is hard to not see hope at those moments and allowing her to think about what could be. But those moments are brief as opposed to her moments of HOPE. That is the only option we have. her new MOTTO is HOPE! While I was there mom also had an AWFUL day. She woke up kind of grumpy...she gets that way when the narcotics begin to wear off. BUT by the end of her doctor visit she was pale, throwing up, having tremors, drenched in sweat and cold and clammy. She was having hallucinations between vomiting (at one point I caught her "sewing" with her hands)I spent a majority of the day in doctors office bathrooms...trying to get her into the office to be seen, wheelchairs and all. After seeing an on call surgeon he recommended we go to our family practice doctor (who LOVES mom and dad and talks about his life with them). After a change of clothes (whoever helps her-ALWAYS have a change of underclothes and clothes with you) After listening to her symptoms and recording her narcotic history he was certain she was going through narcotic withdrawals. She was pretty panicked thinking that this might be how chemo will be. IF it IS (which it should not be- with their advancements in nausea) she will need someone with her. She thought her pan medications were as needed basis--so after feeling a little better she went from 10 pills in a 24 hour period to 1 pill in about 12 hours. The results were catastrophic. We learned she has to ween down. We also went home to find out that somewhere between the last surgery, pharmacy and doctors her narcotic levels had been doubled accidentally in her medications-so she was actually taking 20 pills worth of narcotics in a 24 hour period. Now that we know we are bringing her down slowly. They say it is a very natural bodily response to narcotics.
IN CLOSING:
I deep down don't feel like we are going to lose her to this battle. BUT I feel it is going to be a very hard hard road. She needs as much support and love as possible. She cannot be around children during chemo, or ANYONE sick for that matter. It would be wise to get our family in and out of there as much as possible. We absolutely have HOPE. We see a future. We are bunkering down and taking just one day at a time. I know she would LOVE to go wig shopping with some trendy ladies that she is close too, and would LOVE LOVE massages and pedicures. Besides that, CALL HER, bring her bright flowers, happy stories, warm bread and allow her to cry. I love her and hate cancer--but it is and we will ENDURE.
-Update by Jeanie's daughter Alicia
